maco
04-20-2002, 10:39 PM
Being Israeli
Being Israeli means turning the television on at night and seeing that instead of Rambo III, a local suspense film is being aired, with us as the actors.
It means hoping that there is no one there that you know, rejoicing that there is no one there that you know, and then feeling ashamed that you rejoiced.
It means watching the screen even though you know precisely what the next image will be.
It means going around the house at 2:00 AM to watch the children sleeping, thinking that under the blankets they suddenly seem so small again.
Being an Israeli means being able to tell something happened by the songs playing on the radio.
It means thinking just to yourself, that when there are terror attacks you get to hear the nicest songs.
It means understanding that if the newscasters say "There are casualties," they actually mean there are fatalities, and that "mortally wounded" means someone is fighting for his life.
It means asking yourself what "suffering from shock" means exactly and understanding yourself after a few seconds.
It means calling up relatives even though it is late and asking how things are, as if you were calling for no reason.
It means going to the mall as if you are going out on army reserve
duty, and going out to reserve duty as though you have gone to war.
It means saying, "If I had any brains, I would move to Australia," but not really meaning it. It means fighting a bit more with the person you live with, but not admitting to yourself that is because of the tension.
Being Israeli means saying "We have to attack them real hard," without truly knowing who 'them' refers to.
It means saying , "This cannot go on this way," but fearing that
perhaps this is exactly how it will go on.
It means saying, "Gaza has got to be conquered," just to hear yourself say it.
It means understanding that there is no simple solution, but hoping that perhaps there is one.
It mean listening to radio shows on which people call in and say
terrible things, thinking that it proves how far we have deteriorated, but actually wanting to call in yourself.
It means remembering that in your life you have put too much trust in leaders who have let you down, but convincing yourself that maybe there still is someone else out there. It means telling yourself that it is time to draw up a will, but not doing it.
Being Israeli means feeling unexplained fatigue in the middle of the day, a fatigue that starts in your shoulders and travels down your spine.
It means being a secular person who asks what is going on with God, or a religious person asking what is going on with the IDF.
It means saying, "More people die in traffic accidents," but not being sure that that is still true.
It means calculating that after Jerusalem and Haifa, Tel Aviv will surely be next.
It means being angry when people say "a sophisticated terror attack," because they do not deserve even that compliment.
It means meeting a friend who asks if you have heard that George Harrison died and thinking that he must live on Mars.
It means knowing, with a clear and paralyzing knowledge, that in a day, at most two, you will find out that you knew someone who died. And if not, then you will know someone who knows someone.
Being Israeli means saying, "I'm fine, the country is in the dumps."
It means beginning sentences with the expression, "Aside from the situation,"
It means canceling trips, because this is not the time and then
traveling anyway because you decided to hell with it all.
It means suddenly recalling Rabin.
It means that you have never spoken to your son about that war and swearing you will find time for it.
It means wanting to go to that Georgian movie [the most recent Israeli film release, "A Late Wedding," which discusses a Georgian family in Israel] that everyone is discussing, because you feel like doing something Israeli.
It means eating more than usual, getting up late, and then going out for a run, and noticing that everyone has been telling jokes recently.
It means knowing that all this symbolizes something, but not being sure what.
Being Israeli means feeling that the country is a bit too much for
you.
It means exchanging familiarities with strangers.
It means hearing strange expressions from people you thought you know well..
It means hearing your prime minister speak of "power of endurance" and understanding, belatedly, that he means you.
It means comforting yourself by saying that at least this year it is raining.
It means standing at the window with a cup of tea and thinking, for the first time in years, how nice it is of God to clean up the world this way.
It mean accepting a postdated check, because that is also connected to the situation.
It means sitting up at night with the bills and deciding that you have got to cut down on the expenses.
It means looking at the pictures instead of reading the papers. Being Israeli means being a little bit of a better person than you thought you could be.
Being Israeli means turning the television on at night and seeing that instead of Rambo III, a local suspense film is being aired, with us as the actors.
It means hoping that there is no one there that you know, rejoicing that there is no one there that you know, and then feeling ashamed that you rejoiced.
It means watching the screen even though you know precisely what the next image will be.
It means going around the house at 2:00 AM to watch the children sleeping, thinking that under the blankets they suddenly seem so small again.
Being an Israeli means being able to tell something happened by the songs playing on the radio.
It means thinking just to yourself, that when there are terror attacks you get to hear the nicest songs.
It means understanding that if the newscasters say "There are casualties," they actually mean there are fatalities, and that "mortally wounded" means someone is fighting for his life.
It means asking yourself what "suffering from shock" means exactly and understanding yourself after a few seconds.
It means calling up relatives even though it is late and asking how things are, as if you were calling for no reason.
It means going to the mall as if you are going out on army reserve
duty, and going out to reserve duty as though you have gone to war.
It means saying, "If I had any brains, I would move to Australia," but not really meaning it. It means fighting a bit more with the person you live with, but not admitting to yourself that is because of the tension.
Being Israeli means saying "We have to attack them real hard," without truly knowing who 'them' refers to.
It means saying , "This cannot go on this way," but fearing that
perhaps this is exactly how it will go on.
It means saying, "Gaza has got to be conquered," just to hear yourself say it.
It means understanding that there is no simple solution, but hoping that perhaps there is one.
It mean listening to radio shows on which people call in and say
terrible things, thinking that it proves how far we have deteriorated, but actually wanting to call in yourself.
It means remembering that in your life you have put too much trust in leaders who have let you down, but convincing yourself that maybe there still is someone else out there. It means telling yourself that it is time to draw up a will, but not doing it.
Being Israeli means feeling unexplained fatigue in the middle of the day, a fatigue that starts in your shoulders and travels down your spine.
It means being a secular person who asks what is going on with God, or a religious person asking what is going on with the IDF.
It means saying, "More people die in traffic accidents," but not being sure that that is still true.
It means calculating that after Jerusalem and Haifa, Tel Aviv will surely be next.
It means being angry when people say "a sophisticated terror attack," because they do not deserve even that compliment.
It means meeting a friend who asks if you have heard that George Harrison died and thinking that he must live on Mars.
It means knowing, with a clear and paralyzing knowledge, that in a day, at most two, you will find out that you knew someone who died. And if not, then you will know someone who knows someone.
Being Israeli means saying, "I'm fine, the country is in the dumps."
It means beginning sentences with the expression, "Aside from the situation,"
It means canceling trips, because this is not the time and then
traveling anyway because you decided to hell with it all.
It means suddenly recalling Rabin.
It means that you have never spoken to your son about that war and swearing you will find time for it.
It means wanting to go to that Georgian movie [the most recent Israeli film release, "A Late Wedding," which discusses a Georgian family in Israel] that everyone is discussing, because you feel like doing something Israeli.
It means eating more than usual, getting up late, and then going out for a run, and noticing that everyone has been telling jokes recently.
It means knowing that all this symbolizes something, but not being sure what.
Being Israeli means feeling that the country is a bit too much for
you.
It means exchanging familiarities with strangers.
It means hearing strange expressions from people you thought you know well..
It means hearing your prime minister speak of "power of endurance" and understanding, belatedly, that he means you.
It means comforting yourself by saying that at least this year it is raining.
It means standing at the window with a cup of tea and thinking, for the first time in years, how nice it is of God to clean up the world this way.
It mean accepting a postdated check, because that is also connected to the situation.
It means sitting up at night with the bills and deciding that you have got to cut down on the expenses.
It means looking at the pictures instead of reading the papers. Being Israeli means being a little bit of a better person than you thought you could be.