Rape in America & how to solve it.

[Agnosthiest]

Rape in america is a serious problem, but is it as serious as this:

Whereas we in a society that can suffer six million rapes per year.

As opposed to those who don't fear any such thing, allow their daughters to wander drunk in the streets and actually do end up with daughters that are raped. At least they did what they wanted to. That case of the clap from a stranger or that rape baby is nothing compared to losing your freedom.

http://sa.rochester.edu/masa/stats.php

Occurrence of Rape

Rape is a serious problem in the United States today. The United States has the highest rape rate among countries which report such statistics. It is 4 times higher than that of Germany, 13 times higher than that of England and 20 times higher than that of Japan.


Above is a chart showing the estimated rape rate per 100,000 people in the United States between 1960 and 1998. The rape rate in the US in 1998 was 34.4 per 100,000 persons. In 1997 there was a decrease of 7% in the overall crime rate, but the rate of rape and sexual assault did not decline at all. (National Crime Victimization Survey, 1997)

Reporting Statistics

Only 16% of rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police (Rape in America: A Report to the Nation. 1992). In 1995 there were 97,460 rapes reported to law enforcement officials. At a 16% reporting rate, this means that there were actually closer to 649,733 rapes in the United States. Along the same lines, the number of rapes reported in New York state in 1996 was 20,911. At a 16% reporting rate, this means the actual number of rapes was closer to 139,406. (Computerized Criminal History, Feb. 1998)

The rate of false reports of rape is approximately 2 - 3% which is no different than that for other crimes. This is different than the 8% of reports which are unfounded. This means that in 8% of the rape cases reported the investigators or prosecutors deemed that the case was not prosecutable for any number of reasons. Only 2 - 3% of the reports however were fabricated stories.

Victim Characteristics

1 in 3 sexual assault victims are under the age of 12 (Snyder & Sickmund, 1999) and convicted rape and sexual assault offenders report that 2/3 of their victims were under the age of 18. Among victims age 18 - 29, two thirds had a prior relationship with the rapist. (National Crime Victimization Survey, Criminal Victimization, 1996)

18% of women who reported being raped before age 18 said they were also raped after age 18. (Violence Against Women Survey, 1998)

Perpetrator Characteristics

In 1997, 68.3% were perpetrated by someone who knew the victim. (Bureau of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey, 1997) 78% of women raped or physically assaulted since they turned 18 were assaulted by a current or former husband, live-in partner or date. 17% were victimized by an acquaintance, 9% by a relative other than a husband and only 14% were assaulted by a stranger. (National Violence Against Women Survey, 1998)

Assault Characteristics

Rape and sexual assault are not crimes that usually occur in dark alleys or in deserted areas at night. As a matter of fact 6 out of 10 sexual assaults occur in the home of the victim or the home of a friend, neighbor or relative. (Greenfeld, 1997) 43.4% of rapes and sexual assaults occur between the hours of 6PM and midnight Greenfeld, 1997) and about two thirds occur between the hours of 6 PM and 6 AM (Greenfeld, 1997).


ok so around 110,000 women per year is assaulted by perfect strangers.

Andak, what do you propose we do about this?

[Agnosthiest]

<delete>

[andak01]

Rape and child molestation and wife beating are intergenerational social ills. I think that children who are molested are more likely to molest and children whose mothers are beaten are likely to continue the cycle of abuse either by allowing themselves to be victims or by victimizing others.

Some foreign Muslim clerics have proposed that Western society in general is the cause and have tauted, without having hard statistics at their disposal that Muslim countries don't experience rape. That's oversimplistic and a Westerner might find it insulting. In essence, it's someone from another culture experiencing Western culture (if indeed they have even visited) from the outside and making suggestions based on their own experience.

What offends the Western audience the most is the image of a turbaned man who has never been to the West telling them how to live their lives.

As Burns said: "O wad the power the giftee gee us to see ourseles as ithers see us."

That same offended Westerner turns around and wants to tell that turbanned man how to run his life by using a solution that works in the West. Each is as certain that his way is the correct way.

But in fact, if we cut out the messenger and cool off a bit, each has something to teach the other.

Let's forget about the turban. Go to your local martial arts class or police precinct and ask how a woman best prevents rape. Here is a solution within your own culture, within your own community.

If you live alone, only use your first initial and your last name on your mailbox.
There is safety in numbers, travel in groups whenever possible.
The Sheikh would probably say for a woman not to go out unescorted.
Take a self-defense course for women and learn how to resist an assailant.
And this is a hobby promoted by the Sunna of the Prophet (SAW)
Keep in mind that any date can turn into a date rape.
No dating would be even better. But that's a Muslim thing.
Know the name of the men that you date, and be reserved on the first day. Perhaps offer to pay for yourself so that you don't 'owe' anything.
Again, the Sheikh is going to discourage dating at all.
If you're going home with a man that you don't know very well, make sure that someone else knows, and let the man know this as well.
The Sheikh is going to recommend that the whole family be involved in the process.
If you begin to feel uncomfortable let him know right away that he's gone too far. Look for a way to leave.
Islam wouldn't allow the woman to be alone with the man in the first place.
Never feel that you have to give in to sexual intercourse. If you feel pressure, leave.
Islam and Judaism and Christianity put a taboo on premarital sex.
Use drugs and alcohol with caution.
No drugs or alcohol is even better.

http://www.estronaut.com/a/avoiding_rape.htm



So, in the end, some of what the Sheikh says agrees, some doesn't apply to Western culture, and some might contradict it. But it really isn't bad advice. It's the messenger that the Westerner is going to find offensive.

But also, what the Sheikh says doesn't cover the realities of a rape victim in a so-called Shariah state. Men should really fear the consequences of committing rape wherever they are.

[Agnosthiest]

"78% of women raped or physically assaulted since they turned 18 were assaulted by a current or former husband, live-in partner or date."

http://www.musc.edu/vawprevention/re...wiferape.shtml

The Wife Rape Fact Sheet

What is Wife Rape?

Wife Rape is the term used to describe sexual acts committed without a person's consent and/or against a person's will by a woman's husband or ex husband. Sexual acts may be committed through physical force, threats of force against her or a third person, or implied harm based on prior assaults causing the woman to fear that physical force will be used if she resists.

When a woman submits to sexual acts out of fear or coercion, it is rape. A wife does not need to be "putting up a good fight" for it to be rape (even according to the law). Sexual acts include but are not limited to penile vaginal intercourse, the insertion of genitals into the mouth or anus, or the insertion of objects into the vagina or anus.

How Common is Wife Rape?
Two studies have documented similar rates among random samples of women:


Ten to fourteen percent of ever-married women have experienced at least one forced sexual assault by a husband or ex-husband (Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985; Russell, 1990).
Studies of battered women staying in shelters and women seeking relationship help show one-third to three-quarters of those asked reported sexual assaults by their husbands or intimate partners.

How are Victims of Wife Rape Different from Other Rape Victims?
Women raped by a partner are violated by someone with whom they share their lives, homes, and possibly children. In addition to the violation of their bodies, they are faced with a betrayal of trust and intimacy. Sadly, victims of wife rape are not likely to see what is being done to them as a violation of their rights. This is no surprise, however, as society has only recently legally recognized wife rape as a crime, and opinion polls show that people still believe that wife rape must be "less harmful" than stranger rape.

Research indicates that wife rape victims are more likely to be raped multiple times compared with stranger and acquaintance rape victims. In research with wife rape victims, most report being raped more than once, with at least 1/3 of the women reporting being raped more than 20 times over the course of their relationship (Finkelhor & Yllo, 1985; Russell, 1990). Women who experience wife rape suffer long lasting physical and psychological injuries as severe or more severe than stranger rape victims.

Why Would a Man Rape His Wife?

Our ability to answer this question is limited, as so little research has focused on husband-rapists. It is, however, clear from survivors’ reports that it does not stem from wives withholding sex, which is the most common myth. Most women who report being raped by their husbands also report having consensual sexual intercourse. Researchers who have spoken with husband-rapists conclude that husband-rapists rape to reinforce their power or control over their wives or families, or to express anger.

Why Would a Woman Stay With a Man Who Raped Her?

The answers to this question are complicated. Many women believe it is part of their "wifely duty" to have sex with their husbands, even if it is violent sex against their will. Many religious doctrines outline sexual acts as a "duty" for wives. In addition, it is only recently that the law has begun to offer wives protection from their husband's sexual attacks, and many people may be unaware that wife rape is a crime.

Many women do not have the financial resources to leave a relationship. If a woman has children, her ability to leave is complicated by the added problem of moving her children with her (taking them out of school, away from friends) or abandoning her children. She may not leave for fear of what the offender may do to her or the children.

Also, some women may not leave out of love and loyalty to the husband, which may override her pain and suffering. The decision to leave a person you care about or love can be very difficult, even when the relationship is unhealthy or violent. But it's the abuse that's wrong, not loving someone who is abusive. No one deserves to be beaten or raped, and no one is required to live with fear and violence. Everyone has the right to live in a safe home.


At 70%+ marriage/live-in rape cases in america, would it be unreasonable to think that there is a lower rate in nations that are many times more patriarchial in nature?

"husband-rapists rape to reinforce their power or control over their wives or families, or to express anger"

[andak01]

Rather than make assumptions, let's assume that there is a problem that can be improved upon. Looking into the problem rather than ignoring it can only lead to improvements. From what I posted before, it occurs to me that rape prevention is less of an issue in Arab countries than in the West. It's more about there being little or no consequences for a rapist.

I feel it only fair to tell you that, according to your previous post, I am a rape victim myself. At least once I can think of I was tired and didn't want to perform but did anyway. I'll admit it was a combination of fear and coercion that did it. Fortunately that didn't happen again. For the happiness of my marriage, I'm glad I was raped that night!

Outside of these studies, how do people behave in real marriages? Is the man always the bad guy? If my wife and I waited until both of us were at optimum drive, I'm sure the kids would have a crisis or something else would happen. That's different from being an insensitive lout.

[Agnosthiest]

http://www.estronaut.com/a/avoiding_rape.htm

So, in the end, some of what the Sheikh says agrees, some doesn't apply to Western culture, and some might contradict it. But it really isn't bad advice.

So I take that you are more in favor of education without infringing on individual freedoms?

Great!

Let me add one more...do something about your gun culture. Im sure guns play some role in that 14% stranger-rape.

And still, even with education & gun control, even if we take wife-rape out of the equation, there would obviously be a higher rate of rape in democratic nations -where males and females freely intermingle-... as there would always be women careless enough to take freedom for granted and end up being raped by strangers, non-spouse-relatives, dates & neighbors.

Men should really fear the consequences of committing rape wherever they are.

what makes men rapists? do you have any idea? is being alone with a woman in bikinis enough to make an average man a rapist?

[redcake]

I feel it only fair to tell you that, according to your previous post, I am a rape victim myself. At least once I can think of I was tired and didn't want to perform but did anyway. I'll admit it was a combination of fear and coercion that did it. Fortunately that didn't happen again. For the happiness of my marriage, I'm glad I was raped that night!

What is wrong with you?

Please don't make light of rape. If you're not mature enough to discuss a sensitive matter, then don't.

[Agnosthiest]

What is wrong with you?

Please don't make light of rape. If you're not mature enough to discuss a sensitive matter, then don't.

hey lighten up. wheres your sense of humor? andak was just playing there.

[andak01]

So I take that you are more in favor of education without infringing on individual freedoms?

Great!

There isn't a letter in that rape prevention article that I feel is inappropriate to present to a Muslima.

Let me say something else. Some parts of fiqh cause us to reevaluate other parts of fiqh. For example, a woman should obey a man. But it is specifically stated that no Muslim, man or woman should follow someone to do evil. So the only time a woman needs to obey her husband is if he is causing her to do what is right. I have the same rule about my own wife. Whichever of us is stronger in character and closer to the right path is de factor the leader. There are many times when I would like her to obey me, and I reflect that she is asking me to do what is right. For me not to defer in those cases would bring bad things to both of us. It's not about obedience to the spouse, but obedience to what, given the deepest reflection that we are able, is right.

Let me add one more...do something about your gun culture.

Guns aren't mentioned in the Sunnah.

Im sure guns play some role in that 14% stranger-rape.

Again, having an escort or escorts would hopefully cause the stranger pause, particularly if their packin' a piece!

And still, even with education & gun control, even if we take wife-rape out of the equation, there would obviously be a higher rate of rape in democratic nations -where males and females freely intermingle-... as there would always be women careless enough to take freedom for granted and end up being raped by strangers, non-spouse-relatives, dates & neighbors.

If you have a society where people are almost never alone, I don't see where the opportunity for rape comes in. I can't remember a half an hour of the three weeks of my last trip to Morocco that I was more than 10 feet away from the nearest person. Women do go on dates in Morocco. But the police in many places will stop a couple if they see them alone at night.




what makes men rapists? do you have any idea? is being alone with a woman in bikinis enough to make an average man a rapist?[/quote]

[Agnosthiest]

I have the same rule about my own wife. Whichever of us is stronger in character and closer to the right path is de factor the leader.

Hey that’s how my marriage goes as well. Give & take. Lead & serve, serve & lead, equal ventures.

If you have a society where people are almost never alone, I don't see where the opportunity for rape comes in.

Of course.Some rapes occur when a man have the near-certainty that he can get away with it. The list you posted is ideal for women to protect themselves without losing their freedom.

Rather than make assumptions, let's assume that there is a problem that can be improved upon. Looking into the problem rather than ignoring it can only lead to improvements. From what I posted before, it occurs to me that rape prevention is less of an issue in Arab countries than in the West.

I agree.

For the happiness of my marriage, I'm glad I was raped that night!

same here. Before I had no idea that women can be that horny too.

Outside of these studies, how do people behave in real marriages? Is the man always the bad guy?

There is no way to tell for sure. But there are more men in jail than women. We have higher levels of testosterones which makes us more aggressive than women. So it is likely that we transgress more than women even within marriages.

[Vitnir]

Rape and child molestation and wife beating are intergenerational social ills. I think that children who are molested are more likely to molest and children whose mothers are beaten are likely to continue the cycle of abuse either by allowing themselves to be victims or by victimizing others.

This is exactly what authorities of some Islamic countries think and often execute a victim like he was the predator. The system in western countries many not act in this grizzly manner, but it often abandons victims and won't help them to recover, while doing lots of efforts to correct the offender and investing a load of cash in him, when they could simply castrate him...

Some foreign Muslim clerics have proposed that Western society in general is the cause and have tauted, without having hard statistics at their disposal that Muslim countries don't experience rape. That's oversimplistic and a Westerner might find it insulting. In essence, it's someone from another culture experiencing Western culture (if indeed they have even visited) from the outside and making suggestions based on their own experience.

I think I could compare the attitude of these Muslim clerics to that of Orthodox Jews that claim that rape is only a phenomenon in seculars/agnostics, while presenting their society as some sort of Utopia where rape and other forms of crime, violent or not, do not exists, in order to not to create doubt within the followers of this "cult", when in reality, according to some organization of some religious-feminists, the Orthodox had outdone the seculars/agnostics when it comes to sex crimes. If that isn't enough, the victim in these societies is being treated as if he/her were the problem, not the other way around.

. Here is a solution within your own culture, within your own community

Date nerds and frigid. Worked for me.

You said that "SAW" approves of women learning close combat to defend themselves from rape, but when it comes to practice, is it as supportive? You see, a few years ago there was a story about this girl in Iran who was out with her niece and 2 guy friends. Some #$@#@s tried to rape them, the "friends" simply got up on a scooter and fled. The girl defended herself and her niece, ended up killing one of the attackers. Instead of being praised, she was jailed, raped again in prison and later executed. Let's say I haven't slept for a few nights after reading the story.

what makes men rapists? do you have any idea? is being alone with a woman in bikinis enough to make an average man a rapist?

Only if he thinks with his trouser serpent instead of his brain.

I feel it only fair to tell you that, according to your previous post, I am a rape victim myself. At least once I can think of I was tired and didn't want to perform but did anyway. I'll admit it was a combination of fear and coercion that did it. Fortunately that didn't happen again. For the happiness of my marriage, I'm glad I was raped that night!

o_O FTW?

[Mil]

Posted by Andak01:

From what I posted before, it occurs to me that rape prevention is less of an issue in Arab countries than in the West. It's more about there being little or no consequences for a rapist.

Provided that you have data, which you don't. In fact nobody knows what happens in Arab countries because statistics are not kept, there are no proper structures to report these kind of crimes, no establish criteria for these crimes (what consitutes abuse), and victims are not encouraged to even report these crimes for whatever the reason.

I, personally, believe that occurences of female exploitation are on the same level if not greater then in the west. Turkey, for example, is very big into women traf, as are Egypt, Iran, Saudi Arabia.... ask any Russian lady.

I am very sure that you are clue-less on what is going on in the Arab countries because you simply don't know.

[andak01]

I am very sure that you are clue-less on what is going on in the Arab countries because you simply don't know.

You're right, I simply don't know and neither do you.

[Vitnir]

Why don't you ask these ladies here:
http://www.rawa.org/index.php

[andak01]

RAWA is not fundamentally an anti-Muslim group, they are an anti-oppression group. Why do you think the founder and most of the women in the demonstrations appear in hijab? That is the case with some of them even on Western TV interviews. They have a communist agenda in fact. I've heard a couple of them interviewed.

There are some very brave women in Afghanistan and I support their struggle against the injustices of the Taliban. But, unlike the missionaries would have you believe, they aren't all giving up Islam to do that. Some of them are very religious and believe in Allah and read the Quran everyday. It doesn't mean they have to support a tyrannical regiem.